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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Making waves on YouTube:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Making waves on X:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Just landed via Telegram:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Breaking via YouTube:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Live now on Snapchat:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Live now on Telegram:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

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I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.
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Commentary:
🎶📱 When your favorite song becomes so real that even the artist can't ignore it! 💦😂 Who needs a concert when you can just blast their music in your living room and summon them for a glass of water? Stay hydrated while rocking out! 🎤🚰

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

38 shares on X this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

92 shares on Discord this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,407

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Going viral on Instagram:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Trending via YouTube:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Just shared via Twitch:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Just shared via Messenger:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

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