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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Just shared via Slack:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Spotted on Discord:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Just shared via TikTok:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

7 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, she’s already running a botanical daycare; adding one more needy creature (me) should be a breeze! 🌿🥴🪴

50, care, caretaker, girl, girls, got, house, humor, i, keeper, know, pet, plants, relationship, responsibility, things, useless, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A selfie only a mother could like.

1 month ago

camera, family, humor, joke, mother, only, parenting, photo, selfie
I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

2 months ago

energy, humor, lazy, mode, power, power saving, relaxation, saving
Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

2 months ago

block, breakup, empowerment, ex, girl, humor, moon, relationship, sun
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

1 month ago

4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today
I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

2 months ago

age, age difference, awkward, awkward moment, difference, Facebook, friend, friendship, hate, high, high school, i, man, me, media, moment, nostalgia, old, old man, realize, school, social, social media, together
I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

3 months ago

calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Seen just now on Slack:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Breaking via Pinterest:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Live now on TikTok:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Trending via Messenger:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Making waves on Reddit:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

A selfie only a mother could like.

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

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If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A selfie only a mother could like.

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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