Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

38 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Making waves on Messenger:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Making waves on Threads:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Breaking via YouTube:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Just shared via X:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Trending via Snapchat:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Just landed via Reddit:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Live now on X:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

4 months ago

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🏆🏠 "If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me." Now that's what you call next-level homebody skills! Who needs a trophy when you've mastered the art of staying comfy at home? 😂 #HomebodyChampion

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

38 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Reported on Slack:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Spreading quickly via X:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Just landed via Reddit:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Just landed via Discord:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Live now on Instagram:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Just shared via Facebook:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Making waves on X:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

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