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🏆🏠 "If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me." Now that's what you call next-level homebody skills! Who needs a trophy when you've mastered the art of staying comfy at home? 😂 #HomebodyChampion

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

1 month ago
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A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

1 month ago
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God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

1 month ago
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I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

1 month ago
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Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

1 month ago
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They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

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Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

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At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

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Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

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I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

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I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Spotted on Messenger:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

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If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

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If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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