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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Breaking via Instagram:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Just landed via X:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Just landed via TikTok:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Trending via Pinterest:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Just landed via X:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

2 months ago

0

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🏆🏠 "If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me." Now that's what you call next-level homebody skills! Who needs a trophy when you've mastered the art of staying comfy at home? 😂 #HomebodyChampion

award, else, home, homebody, humor, ID, laziness, me, pick, pick-up, procrastination, send, someone, staying, staying at home, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

0

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, before, Google, help, humor, information, irony, know, knowledge, someone, something, technology, time, works
I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

0

2 months ago

angel, believe, divine, divine humor, drama, eating, entertainment, guardian, guardian angel, humor, i, just, observation, point, popcorn, watching
The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman
I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort zone, end, funny activity, humor, i, limits, myself, push, pushing, pushing limits, relaxation, self-improvement, sitting, sofa, zone
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite color is money.

25 shares on X this month:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

73 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Going viral on X:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Trending via Telegram:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Making waves on Telegram:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Making waves on Slack:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

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