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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Just shared via Slack:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Just shared via Threads:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Playful quote about DIY humor, featuring bold words suggesting self-made car repair with steel wool.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready to trade Grandma's knitting needles for some heavy-duty gear! 🚗💥 Watch out world, we've got a crochet daredevil on the loose! 🧶😄 #NeedleAndThreadSpeedster"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

60 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

37 shares on Telegram this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

28 shares on WeChat this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

37 shares on Discord this month:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Seen just now on Slack:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Live now on Telegram:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Spreading quickly via X:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

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