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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Seen just now on X:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Live now on Pinterest:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Just landed via X:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Trending via YouTube:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Going viral on X:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

0
I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

83 shares on Discord this month:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Making waves on Instagram:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Making waves on X:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Spotted on Slack:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Spotted on Instagram:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Breaking via TikTok:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

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