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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Breaking via Slack:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Making waves on Facebook:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Spotted on Threads:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Brace yourselves, the gift of my wisdom is coming! 🎁🙃💬

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

5 months ago

call, cause, definitely, glitch, humor, me, mess, system, technology
If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

2 months ago

airport, craziness, fly, humor, insanity, joke, own, people
Donuts hug you from the inside.

1 month ago

comfort, donut, donuts, food, hug, humor, inside, snack, sweetness
I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

1 month ago

bomb, comparison, flower, fragile, humor, irony, toughness
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

2 weeks ago

beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star
When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

2 months ago

always, care, communication, humor, i, irony, less, me, misunderstanding, response, someone

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Live now on Telegram:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Making waves on Twitch:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Going bananas on Threads:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Donuts hug you from the inside.

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

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Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Donuts hug you from the inside.

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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