Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Just shared via Discord:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Just landed via Threads:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brace yourselves, the gift of my wisdom is coming! 🎁🙃💬

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

2 months ago

blue, fashion, flashing, foot, footwear, funny idea, humor, i, idea, police, safety, should, sneakers, think, wear
They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

2 months ago

charge, expenses, eyes, grocery, humor, money, observation, open, paper, poop, reality, toilet, toilet paper, turn
I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

2 months ago

able, basic, basic cable, cable, comedy, experience, feel, film, i, irony, movy, prison, reruns, Shawshank, watching
The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

2 months ago

corporate, dressed, humor, i, insecurity, just, leadership, longer, management, micromanaging, office, realize, work
If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

2 months ago

bad, bad time, conversation, exactly, humor, just, mean, meaning, relationship, time, warning
I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

2 months ago

culture, days, expression, fun, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

88 shares on Slack this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Just shared via WeChat:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Spotted on Threads:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Shared recently on Threads:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Going viral on Twitch:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Shared recently on Slack:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨