Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Spotted on Facebook:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Spotted on Twitch:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Going bananas on Threads:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Making waves on Discord:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When pizza becomes a team sport! 🍕💪😂 Where do I sign up for the 'Pizza Lifting Olympics'?!"

activity, appetite, carry, craving, cute, exaggeration, food, fun, fun activity, humor, invent, joke, mini, people, pizza, should, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

0

2 months ago

competition, democracy, entertainment, flush, future, governance, humor, obvious, politicians, satire, selection, should, Taskmaster
There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, humor, irony, joke, little, need, put, umbrella, wet
The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

0

2 months ago

balance, bank, call, called, compliment, finance, humor, i, just, me, money, motivation, outstanding, said, today
69 but we both just farting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, both, date, fart, humor, just, laughter, moment, relationship
The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

craving, eating, embarrassing, embarrassment, food, humor, i, just, kind, spend, thinking, time
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

0

6 months ago

else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

16 shares on X this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

41 shares on Slack this month:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

45 shares on X this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

72 shares on Discord this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Spotted on Messenger:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

69 but we both just farting.

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨