Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Just shared via X:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Going viral on Telegram:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I wasn't naked, I was just rocking out to some tunes! 🎶📻 Who needs clothes when you've got music, right? 😂 #RadioIsLife"

clothing, funny statement, humor, i, joke, nothing, radio, statement, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

0

2 months ago

big, celebration, day, dogs, doorbell, excitement, Halloween, lose, love, pets, reaction, rings, shit
Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

0

2 months ago

beverage, care, comedy, dental, dental care, drink, drinking, humor, mishap, ruin, sure, toothpaste, unexpected
Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, humor, interaction, joke, misunderstanding, nothing, offline, offline people, online, online joke, people, social, social interaction, tell, trying
There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

0

2 months ago

accent, call, calling, communication, customer, customer service, frustration, hearing, indian, life, nothing, phone, phone call, service, stereotype, worse
I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, deodorant, everyone, humor, hygiene, i, odor, order, personal, personal space, restraining, social, social humor, space, want, wear
Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad luck, control, face, friendship, humor, i, irony, lose, luck, problems, sadness, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

15 shares on Threads this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

54 shares on Threads this month:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Back to the Future and chill?

Spreading quickly via X:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Just shared via Facebook:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Just landed via Twitch:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Going viral on Instagram:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨