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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Spotted on Discord:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Spotted on Messenger:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Making waves on Twitch:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Just landed via TikTok:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Going viral on X:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

23 hours ago

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Commentary:
😂👏 Taking "being neighborly" to a whole new level! Who said borrowing sugar was enough? 🍭💺

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

0

2 months ago

filter, grass, greener, humor, illusion, just, over, perception, perspective, reality, sarcasm
You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

0

2 months ago

activity, dancing, fun, fun activity, media, obligation, post, posting, self-expression, social, social media, video, yourself
I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

0

2 months ago

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Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

0

2 months ago

annoying, boy, hell, i, joke, period, regular, relationship, see you, still
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

0

2 months ago

everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

32 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Trending via TikTok:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Shared recently on Twitch:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Going viral on Discord:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Just shared via X:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Live now on Pinterest:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨