Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Making waves on Twitch:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Breaking via Instagram:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Making waves on Twitch:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Breaking via Telegram:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Trending via Discord:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Just landed via Discord:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mythical breakdown cure: a peanut butter critic in disguise! 🥪😅👶

appear, breakdown, child, edge, humor, legend, mistake, nervous, nervous breakdown, overwhelmed, parenting, sandwich, small, stress, tell, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

0

2 months ago

advice, brain, brain health, experts, health, health advice, human, human interaction, humor, important, interaction, risk, say, socializing
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, choice, humor, i, just, life, life choice, me, not working, responsibility, thought, work, working
Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

0

2 months ago

30, building, even, foot, height, humor, irony, just, nature, permit, regulation, tree
“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

0

2 months ago

delusional, describe, enough, humor, people, perception, reality, strong, word
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

0

4 months ago

asked, class, education, German, Germany, humor, intelligence, mathematician, people, physicist, response, rich, social, social class, stereotype, wealth, why, woman
I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, broke, broken, chaos, family, humor, i, kids, mirror, motherhood, parenting, sleep, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

94 shares on Threads this month:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Just shared via Threads:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Just shared via Discord:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨