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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Going viral on Instagram:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Going viral on Reddit:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Trending via Threads:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

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Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.
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Commentary:
Ah, the mythical breakdown cure: a peanut butter critic in disguise! 🥪😅👶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

52 shares on X this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Breaking via TikTok:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Just landed via YouTube:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Just shared via Instagram:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Live now on WeChat:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

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