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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Just shared via YouTube:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Seen just now on YouTube:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just landed via Twitch:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Breaking via Messenger:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sleeping away the sadness like a pro 😴💤 #HackLife

asleep, hack, happiness, health, humor, life, life hack, mental, mental health, mood, positivity, relaxation, sad, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial intelligence, ChatGPT, conversation, dinner, excuse, excuses, family, humor, in-law, leave, technology
I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

0

2 months ago

convenience, frustration, going, home, humor, i, just, life, parking, point, priorities, where
Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

0

2 months ago

ankle, anything, high, humor, injury, joint, just, pun
Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

0

2 months ago

apology, back, breakup, broke, desire, humor, i, morning, relationship, sleep, sorry, want
I should’ve existed as a tree.

0

2 months ago

choices, existed, existence, humor, i, identity, life, life choices, nature, tree
All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

0

2 months ago

away, enough, humor, pants, strength, strong, tear, tear away

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

31 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

16 shares on Discord this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

34 shares on Twitch this month:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Going bananas on Threads:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Just landed via TikTok:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

I should’ve existed as a tree.

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨