Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Just shared via Messenger:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Spotted on Messenger:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Making waves on Threads:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Trending via TikTok:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This is too sweet—I might just melt before Christmas! 🎄😁

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

3 months ago

activity, adventure, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, lighthearted, mugshots, sound, spontaneity, unhinged
Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

2 months ago

busines, business, drama, entertainment, everyone, humor, irony, media, society, tabloid
90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

2 months ago

90, exploration, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McDonald’s, means, ocean, restaurant, sea, underwater, unexplored
Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

4 months ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

2 months ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty
I was dropped as an adult.

2 months ago

adult, drop, dropped, humor, i, joke, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

30 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

21 shares on Discord this month:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My middle finger salutes you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Breaking via Instagram:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Live now on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Going viral on Reddit:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Trending via Slack:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Just shared via Instagram:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Trending via Messenger:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

I was dropped as an adult.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨