Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Live now on Facebook:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Trending via Snapchat:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Making waves on Reddit:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Trending via Discord:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Going viral on Reddit:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Password challenge accepted! Let's dance, computer! 😂💻👊"

changing, computer, consider, defiance, fight, fighting, humor, me, password, sarcasm, street, street fight, streets, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

0

2 months ago

always, ask, belief, believe, confidence, course, faith, God, humor, i, important, irony, me, people, say, self-belief, spirituality
Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

0

2 months ago

always, back, bed, bedtime, creature, humor, kid, night, parenting, sleep, thirstiest, times, whole, world
The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

0

2 months ago

everyone, getting, humor, irony, lightning, mishap, seeing, skeleton, visibility, worst, worst part
Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, hurry, laptop, slowness, technology
Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

0

2 months ago

40s, ability, aging, bones, changes, cracking, humor, life, life changes, sneaky, walk, walking, welcome
I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, another, cautionary, cautionary tale, giant, horse, house, humor, i, irony, lesson, let, life, life lesson, mistake, mistakes, never, right, second, self-awareness, tale, wooden, wooden horse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

57 shares on Telegram this month:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

66 shares on Discord this month:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Breaking via Messenger:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨