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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Going viral on Messenger:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Making waves on Twitch:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Breaking via Reddit:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Live now on X:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Funny quote about self-deprecating humor, featuring witty movie rating commentary.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a cult classic in the making! 🍿🎬😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

78 shares on X this month:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email kills us both.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Going viral on Twitch:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Trending via Snapchat:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Spotted on Instagram:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Going viral on Threads:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

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