Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Making waves on TikTok:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Spotted on Threads:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Shared recently on Discord:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Trending via Slack:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just landed via Instagram:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Just shared via Slack:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Breaking via TikTok:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my wallet catches up with my dreams, even my shoes will be strutting like they're on a mission! 👠💸✨

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

0

2 months ago

dating, fact, flag, fun, fun fact, humor, i, personality, quirky, red, red flag, relationship, self-awareness
A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

0

4 weeks ago

attraction, communication, flirting, reach, reach out, thinking, urge, woman
Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

0

6 months ago

beer, better, buzz, conversation, drinking, handsome, humor, point, starting, wear
I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

0

3 months ago

communication, humor, i, idea, love, media, online, online communication, originality, social, social media, someone, thought, thoughts, tweet, Twitter
I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adults, couch, couch potato, humor, humor quote, i, ignore, ignoring, ignoring problems, laziness, life, phone, phone usage, play, potato, problems, procrastination, run, sit, usage
Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

0

5 months ago

Coca Cola, conflict, even, humor, irony, peace, Pepsi, restaurant, rivalry, same, want, world, world peace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

91 shares on X this month:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Going viral on YouTube:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Trending via Messenger:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Just landed via Reddit:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Live now on X:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨