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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Spotted on YouTube:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Live now on Threads:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Just shared via WeChat:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Just shared via Threads:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Trending via Telegram:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

3 days ago

Playful text highlighting Nicole Kidman's film nickname as a fun pun about her last name.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💁‍♀️👶 What a clever observation! Nicole Kidman starring in a movie called Babygirl is just too fitting – it's like a playful nod to her surname! No wonder she shines in roles that are simply meant to be 👏 #PerfectMatch #BabygirlNicole

actress, actually, another, Babygirl, being, cause, film, humor, joke, kidman, last, last name, name, nicole, Nicole Kidman, perfect, version, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

60 shares on Slack this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

27 shares on X this month:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Going bananas on Reddit:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Trending via WeChat:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Going viral on Discord:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Freshly posted on Slack:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Live now on Twitch:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

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