Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Trending via Discord:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Live now on Instagram:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Spotted on Discord:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Just landed via Facebook:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Seen just now on Threads:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry social media influencers, I trust my decisions to be more vine than online 🍷😄 #CheersToThat"

alcohol, comedy, decisions, drinking, humor, i, influence, influencers, lifestyle, making, media, old fashioned, social, social media, thanks, under

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

0

2 months ago

always, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, outside, reluctance, shouldn’t, social
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

0

4 months ago

doll, humor, joke, money, payment, please, pocket, put, superstition, voodoo, voodoo doll
Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

0

2 months ago

built, casual, crush, dating, humor, i, intensity, love, only, romance, sight, soul, unfortunately
I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

0

2 months ago

alone, humor, i, independence, introvert, lot, nothing, personal, personal space, solitude, space
I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

0

2 months ago

every, food, humor, i, indulgence, lifetime, pasta, penne, savings, spend, supply, think, worth
When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

0

2 months ago

back, cause, childhood, die, discipline, family, humor, i, kid, natural, natural cause, parents, talking, talking back

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Live now on Reddit:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨