Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Making waves on TikTok:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Spotted on Instagram:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Just shared via YouTube:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Spotted on Discord:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Spotted on Slack:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via WeChat:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sometimes I just want a dinner fairy to appear and say 'Tacos it is!' 🌮✨ #AdultingStruggles #SendHelp"

adult, being, challenge, decision, dinner, every, everyday, everyday challenge, humor, night, nightly, single, struggle, struggles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

0

3 weeks ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

0

5 months ago

age, candle, grow, growing, growing old, height, humor, i, life, metaphor, much, old, shorter, tall, young
Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, encounter, feral, feral animal, funny observation, hours, know, looking, nothing, observation, public, running, running into someone, sleep, social, social encounter, someone
When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

0

2 months ago

amusing, comedy, emotional, emotional support, form, friends, friendship, humor, humorist, lighthearted, sad, sadness, social, support
I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, laziness, pro, procrastinate, productivity, put, self-deprecation, wit
Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

0

2 months ago

again, before, cozy, dark, daylight, great, hour, humor, left, relaxation, sleeping, still, time, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Discord this month:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

16 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

79 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Breaking via YouTube:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Breaking via Instagram:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨