Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate wh…

Commentary:
"Stepping into the digital world after a long hiatus like a wise hermit emerging from the mountains! 🏔️🧘‍♂️ Time offline is like a reset button for our priorities… and a chance to catch up on all those cat videos! 🐱💻 #BackToReality #OnlineButNotOverwhelmed"

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t…

Commentary:
"Looks like your neighbor is living in a time warp where Rolexes disappear into thin air! ⌚🌀 Maybe talking about it too much attracted a time thief… 👀 #RolexMystery"

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. Y…

Commentary:
"Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. No speeding tickets for this eternal heartthrob! 🚗💨✨ #ForeverYoungLeo"

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic surprise wedding approach! 😂💍 Remember, nothing says 'I do' like catching someone off guard. Just be sure to watch out for any unexpected plot twists 👀🤵‍♂️👰"

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too muc…

Commentary:
"Violin lessons? Sounds like a pretty risky business with all those strings attached! 🎻 How about considering an instrument that is more 'stringless' and carefree? I hear the air guitar is quite popular these days! 🎸😄"

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone w…

Commentary:
"Seems like someone's ready to upgrade from ironic coincidences to full-blown cutlery battles! 🔪🥄 Watch out, we've got a spoon enthusiast on the loose! 😂"

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are…

Commentary:
"Middle age: where you need more grooming tools than a garden shed! 🧔🔍 #FuzzyWoes #MidLifeCrisis"

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into…

Commentary:
"Who needs comedy when you have the suspense of shopping for toothpaste? 😱 Don't let those sneaky minty flavors trick you – choose wisely or face the consequences! 😬 #ToothpasteTerror"

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never se…

Commentary:
"Seems like people really love their Roombas… until it's time to let them spread their wings and venture into the wild! 🤖🦋 #FreeTheRoombas"

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's mind wandered off without leaving a trail…🤑🏝️ Keep searching for that elusive money, it might be on a vacation of its own! 💸🔍 Remember, a little humor goes a long way in the search for missing funds!

Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes