Commentary:
Sounds like earning that degree is more entertaining than finally challenging a dog to chess only to find out he plays a better endgame than you 🐶♟️💸
British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”
Commentary:
Sounds like a geographical journey through the Whimsical Kingdom! 😂🇬🇧🏰
Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?
Commentary:
When Yoda plays tennis, I bet he serves up some serious "force" aces! 🎾🥋
(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?
Commentary:
Wow, wait till he finds out about Santa! 🎅📚😂
Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.
Commentary:
Investing in a jacket like it's the stock market of love! 💸🧥😂
We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.
Commentary:
Oh sure, because nothing says 'piece of cake' like juggling chainsaws blindfolded 😂🎂🔧
You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.
Commentary:
You must be the secret ingredient in the government's recipe for chaos! 🤯🧪😂
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.
Commentary:
Breaking the family tradition of doing what you're supposed to! 🎉🤪 #Trailblazer
What does international law say about a third Margarita?
Commentary:
When in doubt, consult the cocktail amendment! 🍹🍸😉
The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.
Commentary:
Sounds like we all caught a contagious case of zero f*cks given 😄📚🤷♂️