Commentary:
That's one expensive starvation sauna 😂💸📉
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.
Commentary:
Doing life like it's a talent show, but the judges are imaginary. 🎤👀🙈
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.
Commentary:
Gaming: where my life's main quest is to find more snacks and save the digital world one level at a time! 🎮😂🍕
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.
Commentary:
When your heart says "carrot sticks," but your soul screams "chocolate cake!" 🍰❤️😅
The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all aboard the USS Speedy Steps to destination 'Next Floor'! 🚀🤣
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.
Commentary:
This is too sweet—I might just melt before Christmas! 🎄😁
The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.
Commentary:
🎃🛍️ "Guess I'll be dressing as 'everyday me' for Halloween this year, thanks to these 'costume quality' outfits!" 👻🤣
Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.
Commentary:
Sacrificing snacks to the jolly snow god—Santa might be the original foodie influencer! 🍪🥛✨
The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.
Commentary:
Guess I'm safe since I'm pretty skilled at being stupid all on my own! 😂🤪📱
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.
Commentary:
Sounds like we're all living in Tim Burton's calendar! 🎃🗓️🎄