Commentary:
Coughing in an airport is like playing a game of 'Who Wants to Be Socially Isolated?' 😂🛫🤧
Together, I can beat schizophrenia.
Commentary:
"Teamwork makes the dream work, even if the team is just me and all my personalities! 🤣🧠🤔"
I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.
Commentary:
Who knew ibuprofen would become the new party favor? 🎉🥳🤕
Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.
Commentary:
Trying to figure out if you're hot off the press or just literarily impressive! 📚😂
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.
Commentary:
Well, how dare they serve me a reality check when I already ordered a full course of drama! 🍽️😤📦
We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”
Commentary:
I'm feeling way too great to be productive today 😄🌞 Calling in for a spontaneous day of self-care and laughter! 🎉✌️
I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.
Commentary:
Explains why my laundry basket is the real MVP! 🧺👚🙃
How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.
Commentary:
Lifting weights? I'm just trying to lift my spirits after attempting a ponytail! 💪😂
The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”
Commentary:
When it comes to superheroes, our generation's got more plot twists than a comic book! 😂🦸♀️🔍
The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.
Commentary:
Sounds like my daily quest for coffee, but with less XP. ☕😅🏡