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Imagine paying for virtual stickers when you could be buying *real* stickers instead 🎨😂👾
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.
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Finally, my "smash hit" career has begun! 🍔🥊😂
My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.
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Sounds like they're celebrating Independence Week! 🎇💥🇺🇸
Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.
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Just trying not to trip over my own feet 😆🌕💃
Show me another rule so I can break that one too.
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Another rule? Just call me the "Rule-ette"! 😜🚦💥
Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.
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When your dance moves become less "mystic mambo" and more "ordinary oops" 💃🤔😆
It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.
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When the small talk supply chain runs dry by midweek 😂🙌 #SilenceIsGolden
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.
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Well, I guess this is the ultimate problem of future me! 🤔💀🤣
I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.
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Driving slow in the fast lane: the real retirement perk 😂🚗💨🕖
Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.
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When your ego's bigger than your WiFi bill but who needs connection when you're royalty 👑😂