Commentary:
Time to trade in my work shoes for orthopedic ones, but watch out—Monday still sneaks up like a ninja! 😂👟➡️🩼
There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!
Commentary:
Just when I thought I captured my good side, my camera said, "Plot twist!" 📸🤪
If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.
Commentary:
When the therapist in your head charges by the hour, so you schedule sessions during meetings 🤔🧠💸
Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.
Commentary:
Sounds like my social life—suddenly I'm surrounded by squirrels instead of humans! 🐿️🌳😄
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.
Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.
Commentary:
Trying to watch a movie with a chatterbox is like reading a book in a library with a rock band playing behind you! 📚🎸🤐
If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.
Commentary:
Sounds like a fire-breathing bedtime story is part of the nightly routine! 🐉🔥😴
“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?
Commentary:
Not sure, but apparently, I need a manual and some face stickers! 👀🎨🤣
If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”
Commentary:
When you don't quite fit anywhere but somehow fit everywhere 🤪🤷♂️ #TeamMiscellaneous
Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”
Commentary:
When "hahaha" becomes your personal cupid repellent 😂💌