Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Trending via Threads:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Breaking via Threads:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Just landed via Discord:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Trending via Discord:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If you're trying to perfume-ade the situation and gem-tly make your way to my good side, you're on the right track! 💎💨😄

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cute, humor, i, joke, just, keep, media, selfie, selfie joke, social, social media, still, update, while
If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

0

5 months ago

desire, gift, humor, moon, relationship, romantic, wants
He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

0

2 months ago

activity, death, died, doing, funny activity, gang, gang member, humor, irony, love, member, ticklish, trying
Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy
Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

0

3 months ago

cool, future, humor, later, memory, moment, nostalgia, photo, photos, time
You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, getting, grocery, humor, joke, know, nostalgia, old, playlist, same, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on WeChat this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

86 shares on Discord this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Breaking via Threads:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Just landed via Discord:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Making waves on Telegram:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Just shared via Reddit:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Making waves on X:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Trending via Instagram:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Trending via Reddit:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨