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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Just shared via X:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Just shared via Messenger:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sending thoughts and prayers for this brave soul navigating the dire waters of domestic chores 🌊🧽🥴

chore, dishwasher, excuse, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, son, tired, unloading, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

0

2 months ago

crush, existence, humor, life, philosophy, thinking, weight
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

0

2 months ago

connection, friends, fun, homes, i, secret, tunnels, underground, wish
Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

0

3 months ago

alone, alone time, apartment, freedom, i, independence, live, living, living alone, oh, personal, personal space, solitude, space, time, want, whatever
Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

0

4 weeks ago

better, comparison, drinking, humor, overdrinker, overthinker, thinking, witty
I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

0

2 months ago

bad, being, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, health, humor, joke, jokes, later, making, mechanism, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, self-awareness, situation, three
Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

0

2 months ago

bull, caffeine, digestion, drink, energy, energy drink, gas, give, humor, joke, me, punchline, red, Red Bull, wings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

55 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

27 shares on X this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Live now on Reddit:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Trending via Reddit:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Breaking via Messenger:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Shared recently on X:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨