Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Going viral on WeChat:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Live now on Messenger:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Going viral on Telegram:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pugs: The original "flattened by a door but still fabulous" look! 🐶🚪😂

accident, animal, clumsy, cute, dog, dogs, door, full, humor, meme, pet, pug, ran, regular, speed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

0

2 months ago

animal, communication, dog, humor, i, joke, pet, tell, woof
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, comedy, decisions, drinking, humor, i, influence, influencers, lifestyle, making, media, old fashioned, social, social media, thanks, under
They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

0

4 months ago

alive, enjoy, financial, financial joke, finished, humor, joke, life, money, said, short, short life, spending, still, survival
I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

0

2 months ago

appliance, concentration, fridge, funny observation, hum, i, observation, personification, trying
Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

0

5 months ago

apology, excuse, humor, i, laziness, making, making matters worse, matters, procrastination, room, sit, sorry, today, worse
Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

0

2 months ago

calm, evening, humor, joke, leisure, meditation, relaxation, relief, soothe, stress, stress relief

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

29 shares on X this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

71 shares on Facebook this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

46 shares on Slack this month:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Spotted on Threads:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Trending via Discord:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Just shared via Discord:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨