Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

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I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

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I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

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Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

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I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

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My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

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I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

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You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.