Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Trending via Pinterest:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Live now on Messenger:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Going viral on WeChat:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Broadcasted on Slack:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Trending via Facebook:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Spotted on YouTube:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Just shared via Slack:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Making waves on Discord:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I think my Tamagotchi would need therapy after spending too much time with me now 😂📵🐣

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

0

2 months ago

announce, every, exercise, gag, going, humor, i, jog, morning, procrastination, running
Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

0

2 months ago

address, beach, couple, days, family, getaway, hiding, humor, me, rental, vacation, wrong, wrong address
I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

0

1 month ago

camera, chaos, frame, humor, humor quote, i, joke, life, mess, only, together
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

0

1 month ago

accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

0

1 month ago

aging, Botox, brow, dumb, dumb thing, expression, facial, facial expression, furrowed, furrowed brow, humor, i, need, people, sarcasm, say, skincare, thing, things, wit
Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

0

2 months ago

awake, do things, humor, just, mean, morning, motivation, procrastination, ready, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

72 shares on X this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Spotted on Slack:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Just landed via Instagram:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Shared recently on Threads:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Just landed via X:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨