Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

In banana years, I am bread.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Going viral on Messenger:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Just shared via TikTok:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew my love came with a warranty and they still didn't read the fine print? 🤦‍♀️💔😂

believe, experience, heartbreak, honor, hurt, i, irony, love, me, people, relationship, sarcasm, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m only dead on the outside.

0

2 months ago

dead, existential, humor, irony, life, only, outside, self-deprecation
Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

0

3 weeks ago

activity, cause, enough, frustration, hard, humor, irony, mental, mental activity, never, over, overthinking, think, thinking
Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

0

2 months ago

day, end, end of day, frustration, humor, impatience, joke, left, much, patience, sarcasm, time, why
If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

0

2 months ago

ambulance, call, funny situation, humor, just, kid, kids, parenting, pass, pass out, situation, trampoline, unexpected
Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why
I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

0

5 months ago

communication, feedback, humor, i, insane, insane person, interaction, know, let, media, online, online interaction, people, person, social, social media, think, thought, thoughts, type

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on YouTube this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

55 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

82 shares on Discord this month:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Trending via WeChat:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Just shared via Instagram:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Live now on Discord:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Just shared via Reddit:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Going viral on Reddit:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Spotted on Telegram:

How do I un-know people?

Trending via Messenger:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m only dead on the outside.

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨