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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Just shared via Facebook:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Just shared via Discord:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Just landed via Slack:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Trending via Threads:

I think God was high when he made me.

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Witty text about cleaning so intensely it seems like erasing evidence.
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Commentary:
Cleaning my room like it's a crime scene and I'm the culprit. 🕵️‍♀️🧹🚫🙈

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

87 shares on X this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

83 shares on YouTube this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Just landed via Reddit:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Trending via Instagram:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Trending via YouTube:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Going bananas on X:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Just landed via Facebook:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just landed via Discord:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Seen just now on X:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

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