Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"No worries, my phone has a mind of its own! 📱😅 Next time, maybe I'll try the 'accidentally drop the phone in a pillow fort' technique for a more believable excuse. 💁‍♂️🏰"

call, communication, decline, humor, i, missed, missed call, sorry, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

0

2 months ago

another, distraction, dog, forget, funny moment, house, humor, i, just, left, love, moment, pet, remember, something, stove
Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

0

2 months ago

adventure, Australia, game, humor, Jumanji, landscape, nature, play, still, wildlife
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

0

2 months ago

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight
Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

0

2 months ago

always, app, apps, favorite, humor, kindness, kindness matters, know, matters, never, relationships, streaming, streaming app, subscriptions, unexpected
(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

0

2 months ago

confession, dating, even, guy, humor, i, love, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love
Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

0

2 months ago

dad, excitement, exciting, golf, humor, irony, Masters, napping, sports

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Live now on Messenger:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Trending via Facebook:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Going bananas on Threads:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Spotted on Facebook:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Breaking via Threads:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨