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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to watch a movie with a chatterbox is like reading a book in a library with a rock band playing behind you! 📚🎸🤐

annoyance, entertainment, frustration, humor, lot, movie, pain, patience, social, someone, talking, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

0

2 months ago

fail, humor, i, ID, organ, sarcasm, self-deprecation
Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

0

3 months ago

activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want
Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

0

2 months ago

before, customer, every, front, frustration, humor, i, me, money, never, person, queue, self-checkout, shopping, technology, time, touchscreen, used
I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

0

2 months ago

age, being, childhood, childhood memory, dinosaur, favorite, fun, humor, i, kid, memory, miss, nobody, nostalgia
Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anniversary, commitment, fitness, five, going, gym, humor, procrastination, start, today, tomorrow, year
My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

0

2 months ago

expectations, family, funny situation, humor, mom, opinions, situation, visiting, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Live now on Slack:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Breaking via Telegram:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Just landed via Reddit:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Going viral on YouTube:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Shared recently on Slack:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Live now on Reddit:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Going viral on Twitch:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨