Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Just shared via WeChat:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Live now on Twitch:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Trending via Telegram:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Making waves on X:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you try to walk past a bookstore without going in but the books start whispering sweet nothings to your wallet 📚❤️🛍️

book, books, buying, humor, me, reading, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, shopping, tension

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

6 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

0

2 months ago

catholic, Catholic Church, church, crime, crime story, history, humor, i, recommend, recommendation, religious, religious history, story, true, true crime
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

0

2 months ago

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat
I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

0

1 month ago

age, beautiful, cost, heat, heating, house, huge, i, mansion, movie, much, think, where, winter
My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, comedy, humor, interaction, irony, secret, secret talent, self-deprecation, situation, social, social interaction, talent, turning
“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, cycle, frustration, humor, inevitability, life, never, pass, place, reality, struggle, take, this too shall pass, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

47 shares on Discord this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Spotted on Instagram:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Just shared via X:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Just shared via Slack:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Spotted on Threads:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨