Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Trending via Slack:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Breaking via Instagram:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just landed via Threads:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

1 month ago

Playful quote about the humorous tension between loving books and purchasing more.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you try to walk past a bookstore without going in but the books start whispering sweet nothings to your wallet 📚❤️🛍️

book, books, buying, humor, me, reading, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, shopping, tension

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Going viral on Pinterest:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Shared recently on X:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Seen just now on X:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨