The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

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Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

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Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

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Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

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“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

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80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

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FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

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Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

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I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

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Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

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I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.