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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Just shared via Messenger:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Just landed via Telegram:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Spotted on Messenger:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination! 🤷‍♂️🛋️⏰

absolutely, day, doing, doing nothing, enough, hours, humor, laziness, me, nothing, procrastination, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

0

5 months ago

anyone, class, education, enough, here, high, high school, humor, memory, nostalgia, old, remember, school, technology, typing
The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

0

2 months ago

cost, disappointment, endings, entertainment, finale, game, Game of Thrones, humor, lost, me, series, series finale, television, thrones
My chakra went out for cigarettes.

0

2 months ago

chakra, cigarettes, humor, joke, mysticism, relaxation, spiritual
Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

0

2 months ago

being, fish, fishing, food, guy, humor, hunger, hungry, imagine, irony, lesson, needs, survival, teach
The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

0

2 months ago

cost, cost of living, economy, faster, financial, financial stress, grown, growth, housing, living, money, overtime, pay, rent, stress, thing, work
“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

0

5 months ago

envy, humor, jealous, jealousy, man, marriage, married, men, nobody, relationship, stay-at-home, stay-at-home wife, wealthy, wealthy man, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

47 shares on X this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Just landed via TikTok:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Seen just now on X:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Spotted on Reddit:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Trending via Twitch:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨