There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.