Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Breaking via YouTube:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Going viral on Instagram:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still waiting on the holiday named "What Was I Thinking Wednesday” 🤔😂

confusion, curiosity, day, humor, i, invent, invention, should, where, why, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

0

4 months ago

communication, even, harder, humor, know, lie, men, ok, relationship, truth
I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

0

3 months ago

broke, got, i, money, responsibility
I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

0

4 months ago

adult, adults, affordability, believe, disbelief, economy, history, i, most, period, unaffordable
December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

0

1 week ago

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

0

2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman
You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

0

2 months ago

delicious, food, friends, friendship, fry, guess, humor, i, play, play on words, saying, spell, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

69 shares on Discord this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Live now on YouTube:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Trending via Telegram:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Breaking via Messenger:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Just shared via Threads:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨