Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Going viral on YouTube:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Shared recently on Threads:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Making waves on Messenger:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Going viral on Slack:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Shared recently on Slack:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I find that day, I'll be sure to mark it with a unicorn on the calendar! 🦄📅

day, feel, feeling, humor, i, invent, invention, normal, sarcasm, should, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, job, jobs, politics, president, promise, satire, want, work
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

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2 months ago

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting
I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

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2 months ago

always, bottle, cheap, drinking, family, hosting, house, humor, i, visit, wine
I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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2 days ago

5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work
That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, confusion, conversation, humor, idea, interaction, just, misunderstanding, moment, social, social interaction, times
Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

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2 months ago

advice, button, elevator, express, express function, function, funny advice, humor, note, secret, speed, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

100 shares on X this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

77 shares on X this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Making waves on Threads:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Making waves on Facebook:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Going viral on Slack:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Live now on Pinterest:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Making waves on Facebook:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨