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Commentary:
"Considering launching a true crime podcast! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Although, my search history might raise a few eyebrows at the FBI… 🕵️‍♂️🔪 #PodcastPrep #SuspiciousSearches"

activity, crime, digital, digital footprint, explain, footprint, funny idea, history, humor, idea, online, online activity, podcast, search, search history, thinking, true, true crime

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

0

2 months ago

cheating, favorite, feeling, girlfriend, heartache, humor, love, loyal, loyalty, relationship, trust, world, worst
Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

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2 months ago

another, cars, community, conflict, cops, front, gossip, house, humor, likes, neighbors, nothing, tension, together
There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

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5 months ago

humor, people, physiology, reason, rude, rudeness, simply, sneeze, weakness, yell
You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

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2 months ago

humor, me, mistake, misunderstanding, self-awareness, someone, stupid, witty
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

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2 months ago

40s, adulthood, aging, changes, favorite, humor, life, life changes, peeler, vegetable, welcome
We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

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2 months ago

chaos, cosmic, cosmic tornado, humor, irony, job, jobs, life, live, satire, sure, tornado

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

63 shares on X this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Making waves on TikTok:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Live now on Snapchat:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Breaking via TikTok:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Going viral on TikTok:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Spotted on Slack:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨