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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Trending via TikTok:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Trending via Facebook:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Breaking via Threads:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending via YouTube:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Breaking via Twitch:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

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Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Slack this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

My parents think they know me.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,582

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Going viral on Discord:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Spreading quickly via X:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

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