Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Live now on Messenger:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Just landed via Telegram:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Just shared via X:

People should come with warning labels.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
😂 "Applying to jobs on Indeed: where I swipe right and they swipe left! 🏃‍♂️💼💔"

app, being, dating, dating app, feeling, feeling insecure, feels, guy, humor, hunt, insecure, job, job hunt, job search, online, online dating, search, self-esteem, ugly, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

0

2 months ago

activity, arts, fighting, humor, martial, mixed, mixed martial arts, sports, tickle, tickle fighting
But that was my emotional support daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support
Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

2 weeks ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

0

2 months ago

age, humor, i, self-reference, sentence, start, where
Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, irony, memory, nostalgia, used
Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

0

2 months ago

am, call, calls, devastating, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, meeting, observation, online, online meeting, over-nodder, realization, social, social interaction, video, video call

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

78 shares on Threads this month:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Spotted on Slack:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Going viral on TikTok:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Going bananas on Threads:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Trending via Discord:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Fries, not lies.

Going viral on X:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨