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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Live now on Twitch:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Shared recently on Threads:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Trending via YouTube:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Breaking via Slack:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Trending via Telegram:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Breaking via Messenger:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

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Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like vaping is the mullet of smoking—not quite business, not quite party! 🚭🎉💨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

69 but we both just farting.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Just landed via YouTube:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Trending via Facebook:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

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