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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,965

5 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Making waves on Facebook:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Going viral on Twitch:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Trending via WeChat:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Spotted on Instagram:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

6 months ago

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

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Commentary:
🤣 Oh, how perspectives change as we grow older! 👵🧓 Remember when we all cheered for Baby as a rebellious teen, but now we're just thinking, "Girl, please! Listen to your parents!" 🙅‍♀️ Maybe it's time for an updated remake: "Disciplined Dancing" featuring Baby getting grounded for her antics! 😉🕺💃 #GrowingPains

adult, baby, brat, corner, dancing, dirty, Dirty Dancing, girl, humor, lesson, movie, needs, nostalgia, right, teenager, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,965

5 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Just landed via Threads:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

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