Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Welcome to adulthood, where 9pm feels like midnight and midnight feels like a distant memory. 🌜⏰😴 Who needs late nights when you can have early bedtimes, right?"

9pm, adulthood, age, bedtime, humor, midnight, reality, sleep, transition, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

0

2 months ago

always, humor, humor quote, i, listen, loud, loud music, Metallica, music, neighbor, neighbor noise, neighbors, noise, rock
Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

0

2 months ago

absence, apparently, boss, coming, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, reason, today, unemployment, want, why, work, workplace
I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

0

5 months ago

excuse, gardening, helping, humor, i, joke, lie, me, plant, plants, relationship, repot, sex
Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

0

2 months ago

crazy, crazy thought, day, dicaprio, first day, future, future girlfriend, girlfriend, kindergarten, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, nervous, thought
Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

0

2 months ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, funny idea, giant, giant house, house, humor, idea, keys, own, ownership, people, perception, social, social behavior, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

48 shares on X this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Going viral on WeChat:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Going viral on X:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨