Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Spotted on Reddit:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Just shared via X:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hey, at least we were productive at being unproductive together! 🤷‍♂️😂🍕"

away, comparison, doing, humor, i, irony, life, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, thing, waste, wasting, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

0

2 months ago

am, employment, humor, i, job, LinkedIn, open, required, sarcasm, work
I need an emergency cheeseburger.

0

2 months ago

cheeseburger, craving, emergency, fast, fast food, food, humor, i, need, snack, urgency
Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

0

2 months ago

asked, emotions, even, expression, facial, facial expression, feelings, humor, lot, okay, people, relatable, shout, shout out
A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, communication, flirting, reach, reach out, thinking, urge, woman
I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

0

5 months ago

coffee, drink, humor, hydration, i, iced, iced coffee, love, myself, self-care, wellness
For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

0

2 months ago

90, communication, culture, history, humor, idiot, know, media, post, reference, simply, social, social media, talking, time, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

74 shares on X this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

30 shares on Threads this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Live now on Reddit:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

In banana years, I am bread.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Shared recently on Discord:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨