Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

49 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Just landed via Discord:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Going viral on Threads:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Spotted on Reddit:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Just shared via Facebook:

Without freedom of speech, we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just shared via YouTube:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

6 months ago

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, opportunity certainly has a knack for showing up at the most inconvenient times, doesn't it? 🕰️ Maybe it's trying to keep us on our toes or maybe it just has a twisted sense of humor! 😅 Just remember, when opportunity knocks, you better answer, even if you're in your pajamas! 🚪💼"

back, humor, just, later, life, opportunity, patience, timing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

49 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Just shared via WeChat:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Going viral on Telegram:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Reported on Facebook:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Reported on Twitch:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Spotted on Threads:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴