Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Going viral on Threads:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Going viral on Twitch:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Just landed via YouTube:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Spotted on Pinterest:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So you're saying honesty is like the best memory hack ever? 🧠🔑😂

details, honesty, humor, lie, memory, remember, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

0

2 months ago

back, business, conversation, day, ego, humor, male, nostalgia, storytelling, tell, urge, used
Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

0

2 months ago

ask, asking, before, Google, help, humor, information, irony, know, knowledge, someone, something, technology, time, works
Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

0

2 months ago

delay, distraction, humor, i, internet, just, laziness, need, procrastination, thing, whole, yes
One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

0

2 months ago

age, carefree, day, growing, growing up, hard, humor, hurt, neck, next, pain, sneeze, too, young, youth
Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

0

2 months ago

body, body signal, brain, digestion, empty, food, humor, hunger, signal, stomach
If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

0

2 months ago

Adele, culture, hello, humor, i, joke, knee, knees, lionel, Lionel Richie, music, music reference, pop, pop culture, prediction, reference, richie, sing, think, weather, weather prediction, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Just shared via Messenger:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Spotted on X:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Just landed via Discord:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Shared recently on Messenger:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Spotted on Slack:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨