Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs fun when you've got alcohol? It's like a liquid party in a bottle! 🍸🎉 Just remember to drink responsibly… or not, we won't judge!"

alcohol, drinking, fun, humor, need

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

1 month ago

adulthood, dying, expectations, humor, just, life, perspective, reality, struggle, Thursday, welcome
UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

1 month ago

card, card game, game, genius, humor, i, luck, strategy, UNO, win, winning
The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

4 weeks ago

age-related, aging, comedy, exist, grumpy, humor, i, men, old, old men, older, understand, understanding, why
Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

1 month ago

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait
At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

1 month ago

bag, bag of chips, bedtime, chips, claw, claw clip, clip, daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, hair, humor, i, move, ritual, routine, snack, snack time, time
Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

1 month ago

exercise, fitness, gym, humor, joke, notice, put, self-deprecation, weakness

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

71 shares on X this month:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

14 shares on Slack this month:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

61 shares on Messenger this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Slack:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Spotted on X:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Making waves on Telegram:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Making waves on Threads:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love having plans to cancel.

Going viral on Reddit:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨