Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,962

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Going bananas on YouTube:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Going viral on TikTok:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Just shared via TikTok:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Breaking via Messenger:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Spotted on X:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

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You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?
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Commentary:
Wash once, cry twice! If only dirty dishes stayed clean after one wash too. 🍽️🧼💁‍♀️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Messenger this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

47 shares on Telegram this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

56 shares on Discord this month:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,897

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Shared recently on Slack:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Just landed via Messenger:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Trending via X:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Spotted on TikTok:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

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