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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Trending via Snapchat:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Trending via Telegram:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Breaking via Discord:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Just shared via X:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your ringtone was my favorite genre 🎶📱😂"

calm, calming, cell, cell phone, communication, humor, me, phone, relationship, technology, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

0

2 months ago

after, humor, ID, joke, massage, masseuse, minutes, okay, relaxation, selfish, terrible, turn
I love you to the refrigerator and back.

0

2 months ago

affection, back, cute, distance, food, humor, i, love, playful, refrigerator, relationship
Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

0

2 months ago

app, communication, humor, relationship, talk, technology, where, wife, WifeChat
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

0

2 months ago

broken, escape, escape key, frustration, humor, i, keep, key, keyboard, office, still, work
I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

0

2 months ago

age, annoyance, frustration, humor, life, life stage, maturity, me, noise, stage
My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, bill, dog, financial, financial woes, humor, pet, pet humor, responsibility, sigh, woes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WeChat this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Just shared via Reddit:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Trending via Snapchat:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Going viral on Discord:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Breaking via Slack:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Breaking via TikTok:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Just shared via Twitch:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨