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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Just landed via Messenger:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Just landed via Slack:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Just landed via Messenger:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Broadcasted on X:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Just landed via X:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a soulmate audition is in order! Who passed the vibe check? 😂💔✨

betrayal, dating, humor, love, relationship, soulmate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, distraction, doing, enjoy, exercise, forgetfulness, humor, i, life, memory, remember, stairs, trying, walk, walks
I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

0

2 months ago

big, cake, celebration, eating, family, friends, groom, humor, i, just, me, self-indulgence, small, solo, want, wedding
I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

0

2 months ago

apple, eaten, eating, fall, food, humor, i, mistake, people, percentage, pretty, relatable, sticker, sure, under
People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

0

2 months ago

dislike, fitness, humor, irony, lose, loss, lost, motivation, people, someone, weight
I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

0

2 months ago

activity, climb, desire, funny perspective, humor, i, perspective, problem, problem-solving, rock, rock climb, solving, stairs, understand
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

0

3 months ago

actually, anticipation, best, excitement, finding, got, job, job start, job transition, life, life moment, moment, new, new job, period, start, starting, times, transition

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Slack this month:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

19 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Breaking via Reddit:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨